The Mallory Project

"Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it." – Julia Child

New year, new insurance!

Yay! I had my first doctor’s appointment with my new insurance today.
My insurance is definitely more expensive now, but it’s worth it, since a) it’s insurance (unlike the last three months) and b) it’s much more convenient than CMSP (which is what I had before losing insurance.)

I had a lot to catch my doctor up on. The first thing we discussed was my chronic pain. Dr. G thinks I might not have fibromyalgia, but a neurological disorder.

I’m also going to physical therapy for my arms and back, behavioral therapy for the anxiety and depression, and a neurologist for the pain. I also started a new medication that is normally used to treat seizures and neurological pain.

I really like this doctor, and I feel like he’s going to work closely with me to figure out what’s going on with my page-long list of symptoms.

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The Spoon Theory

The Spoon Theory is something I first heard about a few months after my fibro diagnosis. I was taking a Living With Chronic Pain class through my doctor’s office, and the nurse who was leading the class (who has chronic pain herself) explained the spoon theory to us.
In a nutshell, the Spoon Theory is:
Everyone is given a certain amount of spoons every day – the spoons represent energy. Let’s say everyone gets 12 spoons. The average person without chronic pain/a chronic illness wakes up, takes a shower, brushes their teeth, gets dressed and eats their breakfast, and they use maybe one spoon.
Someone with a chronic illness uses 5 spoons doing that.
So the non-ill person has 11 spoons left for the rest of their day. The ill person has 6.
Basically, we use a lot more spoons – a lot more energy – to do normal things, things that most people do without thinking about it.

I feel like I don’t do this justice, so here’s a link that explains it really well. The website is But You Don’t Look Sick, and it’s written by a woman with lupus. Take a moment to read her story, it’s really good.
But You Don’t Look Sick

(Also, the community of chronically ill people has taken to calling ourselves “spoonies” because of this theory, so if I use that word, that’s what it means.)


Helpful Advice

Yesterday, I did Day 27 of the 30 Day Chronic Pain Challenge on Tumblr. I wanted to share my answer here.

-What’s the most helpful advice you’ve had?

I don’t know if this really counts as advice, but it’s something that has really helped me.

A little backstory is necessary first, though. I’ve been dealing with chronic pain for at least 17 years, though I only got my fibro diagnosis about 2 years ago (and I’m still undergoing tests to figure out if that’s really what I have). For those 15 years that I didn’t know what was going on, I had people telling telling me I was a hypochondriac, that I was making it all up, that it was all in my head. And that made it even more difficult. That I was dealing with something so awful, so debilitating, and no one believed me, no one could help me…

But when I got my diagnosis, a quote from Harry Potter popped into my head and it comes back every time I need it.

It’s from Deathly Hallows, when Harry is talking to Dumbledore. Harry asks “Is this all in my head?” And Dumbledore answers: 
”Of course it’s all in your head, Harry. But why on earth does that mean it can’t be real?”

That quote always brings tears to my eyes. It helps me out so much.

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Merry Christmas!

(Sorry, I had this all queued up to go out on Wednesday but I guess I forgot to press publish.)

Hope your holiday was wonderful! I know mine was. I got to see a lot of family I hadn’t seen in a while, and I got some very awesome presents, including some VERY comfy sweaters. (And a trip down to LA to visit my friend whom I haven’t seen in forever!)

But I am glad the craziness is almost done with. I’ll have a few more weeks at work with everyone returning presents and redeeming gift cards, but it won’t be as crazy as working until midnight or starting at 3:00 am.

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New blog!

I’m trying to organize things around here, so I’m going to separate different things into different blogs. This blog (Mallory Project) will continue to be about my health/care struggles. My reviews (books, movies, TV shows, etc) can be found at hereand soon my cooking/baking stuff will be found at here I’m not going to move anything that I’ve previously published, but all new posts will be put on the respective page. So please follow me if you’re interested in reading about all that jazz too.

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