The Mallory Project

"Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it." – Julia Child

Why I’m Not Wearing Green Today

I’m not Irish. I’m not Catholic. And I can only celebrate one genocide a year, and Thanksgiving fills that threshold (it’s got pie!)
Oh? You didn’t know St. Patrick’s Day commemorates a genocide? When Patrick (who wasn’t Irish) went to Ireland, his task was to convert the country to Catholicism. But not everybody there was willing to give up their centuries-old religion. And St. Patrick killed everyone who wouldn’t convert. Now, he probably didn’t kill them with his own hands, but he ordered their deaths.
You know the tale that Patrick chased all the snakes out of Ireland? There were never snakes in Ireland. Priests and Priestesses of the Celtic pagan religion had snakes tattooed on their arms. Patrick didn’t rid Ireland of an animal, he murdered an entire religion.
And that is why I’m not wearing green today.

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Sherlock vs Big Bang Theory

Sherlock Holmes (the Cumberbatch version) has a lot in common with Sheldon Cooper, but is way better.

Sheldon’s “quirks”, his aversion to sex, his OCD tendencies, his brusque behaviors, even his nerdiness (totally a word), are used as punch lines. The audience is supposed to see him and think “oh, ha, ha, ha, good thing I’ll never be like him!”

Sherlock has similar “quirks”. He seemingly avoids sex, he has OCD behaviors, he’s brusque and sometimes rude, and he’s a bit of a nerd (about science and facts, not pop culture). But it’s used to show how brilliant he is. The audience is supposed to see him and think “wow, I wish I was like that.”

He’ll say things like “I don’t have friends”, and you think “he’s kind of a jerk”, but 15 minutes later, he says “I don’t have friends, I have one” and he’s redeemed. He’s a weird fellow, but he’s smart and brilliant and loyal.

Sheldon says jerky things, but doesn’t get redeemed. He has almost no qualities that show why Leonard, Howard and Raj want to spend time with him. And even when one or two nice qualities show up, they’re immediately overshadowed by a crude joke, a jerk remark, or a punch line at Sheldon’s expense.

Basically what I’m saying is, Sherlock is a show for nerds. Big Bang Theory is a show making fun of nerds. And we get bullied enough in our real lives. Do we really need a TV show bullying us too?

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I WANT CHOCOLATE!

That is all.

EDIT: originally posted on msgproject.wordpress.com on March 10

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Enablers!

I slid down the rocky path and got a face full of mud. The rocky path here was an office stocked with free candy and soda, and the mud was chocolate and Coca-Cola.

I’m temping while I’m getting my freelance writing business (littlejonquil.simdif.com) off the ground. I started my latest assignment yesterday, working admin at a CPA firm here in beautiful Sonoma County. I get my own cubicle, and since I’ll be here through the end of (EDIT:) April, I can decorate it with pictures and everything!

One problem? There’s a mini fridge next to my cube. It’s currently stocked with Coke, sparkling water, sugary fruit drinks and two types of beer. And between my cube and the Xerox machine is a table covered with candy bars and cookies. In the kitchen are boxes of Girl Scout cookies and Oreos!

I was starving this morning. I ate a bowl of gluten-free oatmeal (with bananas and maple flax! Yum!) but I was still hungry when I got to work. I ate some grapes, but half an hour later I was still famished. Like, my stomach was hurting I was so hungry.

So I grabbed some Reese’s Peanut Cups. After eating those, I thought, “oh well, I already cheated.” And I grabbed a Coke.

And it all tasted soooooo good. You know how when you’re really thirsty after working out on a hot day (or standing in line at Disneyland on a really hot day) and you get that first long swig of ice water? And it’s like drinking angels’ tears because you just can’t believe How. Good. It. Is. That’s what it tasted like.

But it wasn’t even half an hour later that my symptoms started. A headache. Pain near my kidneys. Itchy skin. Runny nose. Dizziness. Double vision.

In my head, I know it’s not worth it. I know that I’m acting like a relapsing junkie. Like Hank Moody in the funeral episode of Californication this season.

But that’s what I am, I guess. A junkie. No matter how bad it is for me, I’m just waiting until I can get my next fix. Though it’s good that my vice is only sugar. I could be addicted to another white powder that will remain nameless. This habit is much cheaper, and it’s far less likely that it will make my heart explode.

So I lasted a solid 5 days on the elimination diet. Luckily this binge won’t set me back too far. Cheating is allowed the first week, so long as it’s not too much. I just need to practice my willpower a little bit more as I continue to go along. It would also help if everyone around me got rid of everything that I’m not supposed to eat, but that’s probably not gonna happen…

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Still fighting

…with insurance, that is. Or more accurately, I’m fighting for insurance. As you probably know already (since I’ve written about this before), I don’t have insurance through my parents, since I’m 26, and I don’t have insurance through my job, since I don’t have one. So I’ve been covered by CMSP. But that only lasts for 6 months. I knew my six months would be up in February, so in Januaury, I went back to the Department of Human Services and re-applied for coverage. I figured, they already accepted me once, so why wouldn’t they accept me a second time? I’m making less money now than I was when I first applied, but my cost of living hasn’t changed. It’s probably gone up, actually, since gas prices are getting so high.

I didn’t worry about it. I thought it was gonna be all fine.

Until I went to the doctor for a routine visit, and they said they were having some issues with my insurance. I was “termed”. I thought “ok, maybe the paper work just hasn’t gone through. No problem. It’ll happen soon.”

Then I got a call from the pharmacy. No prescription coverage.

Which was actually a big problem. I ran out of several of my medications, including a few anti-depressants. And I can’t refill them. At least, I can’t afford to refill them.

I don’t wanna go into more of the details about how working (ha) with the Dept of Human Services. Let’s just say it’s taken several phone calls, a couple of faxes and a lot of waiting, and things still haven’t gotten fixed.

And now I’m dealing with the effects of anti-depressant withdrawals. I think that’s what’s happening, anyway. I can’t stop twitching. All day, either my hands or my legs have been twitching. I literally cannot stop moving. It’s getting very annoying and a bit painful. And now my entire body is itchy, which I haven’t felt since I stopped taking Vicodin. It feels like every muscle in my body is coiled into a tight little ball. And my head is pounding. It’s awful. I hate feeling this way. I know stressing about it isn’t helping matters at all, but … How can I not stress?

EDIT: originally posted on msgproject.wordpress.com on February 4

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